It’s a dewy, drizzling night in Williamsburg, burdened by similar winds that brought Dorothy and Toto to Oz. Inside The Vino Theater, there’s a sea of queer and trans twentysomethings eagerly awaiting What Could’ve Been, written by Lu Davis, and The Ghost of Leslie-Fucking-Feinberg, written by Kaila Tacazon. These one-act plays are the evening stint of Chick Magnet, a new playwriting incubator helmed by Dyke Theater Co. Self-described as “theatre/art made by dykes, for dykes (and those who love them),” DTC was founded by Isa DeLeón García, an actor, playwright, and fellow survivor alum of the New York University Tisch. I sit comfortably in the second row with my friend Velvet as introductions are made and the first part of the production begins. 

Set in 2010, What Could’ve Been chronicles a Black sapphic situationship between Cynthia (Kaa’lah Bynes), a closeted lesbian, and Magdalene (Serena Phillip), her “silently queer” roommate and lover. The play reckons with the self, queer desire, and the pain of growing apart. The lead actresses’ performances, directed by DeLeón García, are subtly powerful even when they’re sitting down. Bynes as Cynthia carries herself as full of secrets. Her fears surrounding her sexuality cost her a mutual sense of understanding and empathy with Magdalene, her girlfriend-who’s-not-her-girlfriend. While Phillip as Magdalene represents a more traditional bundle of nerves, Cynthia attempts to act more self-possessed than she actually is while Magdalene allows her heart to lead her through life. As Cynthia and Magdalene continue to navigate their complicated relationship, conflict brews when Magdalene seeks out the company of Vincent. The roommate of Cynthia’s beard, Anthony, who never appears on-screen in a very intentional way. In the end, there’s a choice on both sides: Will Cynthia overcome her anxieties and start loving Magdalene out loud, or will she remain in her comfortable closet? Will Magdalene remain stifled in their relationship or go where she’ll be loved in daylight hours? 

Magdalene’s dilemma resonates with many queer women’s journeys of sexuality. Some identify as lesbians because of past trauma and poor experiences with men only to find themselves reminded that they do in fact carry attraction to men. Many people tend to weaponize this human experience to “prove” twisted narratives, such as lesbians needing a man to “fix” them or nonlesbian queer women being lesser than their lesbian counterparts for this attraction. What’s refreshing to see is that Magdalene doesn’t punish or disparage herself for her newfound male attraction. She holds her own hand in the situation and gives herself grace. For some of us—not all of us—sexuality is complex in ways we’re still unraveling as queer people. I don’t disagree with one character more than the other; I have great empathy for both. It’s evident that Cynthia loves Magdalene, but gets in her own way and blocks their shared happiness because of her desperation for comfort and stability. Magdalene loves Cynthia, but she needs to be loved out loud in a way Cynthia cannot afford. This is a testament both to Davis’ writing and the fact that Vincent just happened to be the person fit for the task of loving Magdalene out loud. A special shout-out goes to Jonathan Price for his performance of Vincent, the comedic standout of the trio, with his calculated body language and physicality.

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