blooming into fall

Blurry-eyed on my toilet

Clothed

Staring at the faucet

On a zoom call where we’re supposed to be reviewing proposals

Their strengths and weaknesses.

Video off

Trying to read the thesis of a girl I like

She mentions her professors in her acknowledgments

She mentions her best friend, his accolade being:

“You know why”

And my eyes glaze

And I think of Tangerine

And how queers are hated

And how we love each other out of our misery, pain

Or into it

Or through it.

Video off, laying beside you

In your embrace, I feel so safe and loved

Laying up in bed in the arms of someone

I shouldn’t be with feels like church

There is too much art in your body addressing this

You’re spilling with it

You are too queer

You love it

Life is fucking hard

It’s raw.

Right now, the sun is low

“I have no strengths,” your coworker says in the meeting

In a cotton-hushed tone, your other coworker whispers “me neither.”

•

Edited by: Ava Emilione

Cover Photo: Ciara Bridges